October Update

I am sorry for the lack of updates on my end. It is only in the last day or two that I really believe that the girls will actually be coming home! It was 2 years ago this Thanksgiving that our family made the decision to adopt again! Two loooong years! Below are some of my thoughts and impressions from my last trip in September.

Updates from God's Littlest Angels have been sporadic at best the last couple of months. This hasn't stressed me out as much as it would have earlier in the process as I have seen the girls recently and we are in the final push to bring them home.

Here is the latest from our update from GLA:

Your girls are so excited about going home! Just talking about it brings a big, excited grin to any of their faces. Two of Chalinda’s friends will also be going home soon, and the girls love to talk about where they will be going and what it will be like. When Neissa is around for these conversations, she does not usually say much, but she definitely does a lot of listening. When she is asked, Neissa says she is very much looking forward to it. Even Sonise gets a goofy grin when I talk to her about going home. She can still be reluctant to speak English with us at times, but there are several volunteers right now who are encouraging her to talk to them in English. Sonise does generally do very well once she does decide to speak English.

When I was down in Haiti is September, it was very clear that both Chalinda (11) and Sonise (14) were very excited about coming home. They are at an age that they can process it a little better (although there is no way to prepare them for the changes they will experience). Neissa was much more withdrawn and really ignored me the entire time I was there. She has been in the orphanage since she was 2 and it is the only home she remembers. As you can see from above, this hasn't changed. And my heart breaks for her.

Sonise surprised me by speaking English when I was there. Apparently there was a missionary couple at the orphanage this summer who made a point of speaking with her. To them I will forever be grateful. I got to know Sonise and talk with her for the first time! The last two trips I had made down there, all communication was done through Chalinda (11) and I believe there was a lot of editing going on! :) Sonise has a wonderful personality.

She is very excited about coming home. Time and again she told me how important an education is to her and how she wants to succeed academically. She is behind in school when compared to American children her age, because she has only gone to school sporadically throughout her life. But she is determined to do her best and graduate from high school. From there we will see, she doesn't plan past that because she knows nothing beyond that... just one more thing for her to learn about!

Sonise also repeatedly told me she would never lie to me... I am not naive enough to believe that, but she is comfortable enough with me to ask me the hard questions and give me her opinion on things. Which was so great! I had sent her a pair of large orange hoop earrings in one of her care packages. Sonise told me that the hoops were too big and that had she worn them to church she would have been pulled aside and been spoken to. I told her that that was fine, she didn't have to wear them to church, she could wear them to school! No, she informed me, they were also the wrong color. (Truly I just have to smile thinking about it.) I told her that I was sorry they didn't work out, to just give them to someone else and she informed me that she already had!

Sonise talked probably about 6 hours of every day. I was able to learn a lot about her birth family and her feelings and her desire to go back to Haiti to visit... truly it was such a gift to be able to talk with her!

Chalinda was the most impatient with the whole adoption process. She wanted to know when she was going to get her passport picture taken (because she knew that that signalled that the end was near) over and over again. She was not happy that I did not have a definitive answer for her.

Chalinda likes to play games, a lot... Chalinda is very competitive and I think she likes when I bring games down that she can learn and then play with her friends. Learning the rules before her friends gives her an advantage and she loves it. I tried to teach her how to play Solitaire, but she hated it because she didn't win every time, which was the lesson I was trying to teach. Oh well. Chalinda and I played games while Sonise talked.

Chalinda and Sonise surprised me one morning and asked why we wanted to adopted them. Sonise wanted to know if I had chosen them or if Dixie had referred them to me (which is the way most adoptions work. The orphanage director gets your profile and matches you with a child). I told her that I had seen their picture at work and wanted to adopt them. Jeff and I talked about it and contacted Dixie (the orphanage director) and started the process. This seemed to take a weight off her shoulders. To know that we had picked them... Chalinda wanted to know why chose to adopt kids rather than have one biologically. And I was honest! While I admire that people chose to have children 'the natural way' that was not for me. The whole process fills me with dread and I am not a big baby fan. I ended the explanation with the fact that the birth process is very painful so painful that people scream through it (my time working with pregnant teens at the health dept. soured me on the whole thing). Sonise looked at me and says, My mom didn't scream. Oops! I forgot that they were all birthed at home! So I covered by saying in America the women scream. (Don't be mad... I know all of you didn't scream through the process.)

Chalinda and Sonise also had VERY strong feelings about tattoos and snakes. I honestly believe that if any of us had a tattoo, they would refuse to be adopted by us! Their feelings are that strong. And snakes... they hate them. Snakes are evil PERIOD! I think a lot of this has to do with their knowledge of voodoo, but it is hard to know for sure.

Neissa, as I said before, was not as excited about coming home as the others and I totally got that. She would only spend short periods of time in the room with me and would not engage with me at all during those times. I was unable to hold her or touch her, except when we went for a walk and I held her hand and pushed her behind me when vehicles passed us on the road. It wasn't until the other day when I was talking about what a great laugh she has (just a great belly laugh that makes you want to laugh with her) that I realized I didn't hear that on this trip. There were no tickling sessions or telling jokes. I know the transition is going to be hard on all of us but I know we will be fine eventually! I've done it before!

When I go down alone, I bunk in with the female volunteers at the Toddler House, which is wonderful as I full access to the girls 24 hours a day. I went over every morning at 7:00 and helped the 13 girls in Neissa's room get ready for the day. Honestly I have such respect for the caregivers. I do not know how they do it day in and day out! All the kids are bathed every morning (and every evening), then powdered and dressed. I sat in their room and waited for them to come shivering into the room (there is no hot water there, which reminds me of a conversation I had with Sonise about this. I told her that I thought I would not be able to get her out of the shower at home, because we have hot water. She was very puzzled by this because why would she take a hot shower, even if she could, cold showers are healthier! I'll keep you updated, but I am SURE she will be singing a different tune very shortly after arriving home!) As the girls came in, I would dry them off, powder them and grab a pair of underwear out the pile. Then I sent them on to their caregiver who actually knew which shirt and shorts fit whom. There is literally a pile of clothes on the floor and she knows what to grab.

The same routine was followed every evening at 7:00. I dried and lotioned the girls, diapered them (which is a story in itself. If you are in the 3-6 year old room, you get a diaper. A small diaper! It was all I could do to secure it around half of them!) and sent them to the nanny to get their pjs. I then sat outside under a light on the porch and helped the older girls with their homework. By the end of the day I was tired!

Jeff will be picking the girls up when they are ready. The plan is for him to fly in one day and leave the next. Then he will stay home a couple days with us before returning to work. I will be taking the balance of December off. I will need the time to get the girls tested for school and doctor appointments and dentist appointments, etc. Then hopefully they will be ready for school after the Christmas break.

Here are the latest pictures of the girls:

Here is a short dance video from my trip: